Trump Acceptance Resistance Disorder (TARD) is a pattern of pathologically dis-associative and psychotic behavior, first observed in the late hours of November 8th 2016, and increasing in severity with passing time. Sufferers of TARD often exhibit pronounced cognitive dissonance, sudden bouts of rage, uncontrollable crying, suicidal ideation, and extreme sadness. People with TARD are characterized […]
1. Thingy; (thing-ee) n. Female… Any part under a car’s hood. Male… The strap fastener on a woman’s bra. 2. Vulnerable; (vul-ne-ra-bel) adj. Female… Fully opening up one’s self emotionally to another. Male… Playing football without a cup. 3. Communication; (ko-myoo-ni-kay-shon) n. Female… The open sharing of thoughts and feelings with one’s partner. Male… […]
A therapist has a theory that couples who make love once a day are the happiest. So he tests it at a seminar by asking those assembled, “How many people here make love once a day?” Half the people raise their hands, each of them grinning widely. “Once a week?” A third of the audience […]
A police officer was staking out a particularly rowdy bar for possible drunk drivers. At closing time, he saw a fellow stumble out of the bar, trip on the curb and try his keys on five different cars before he found his. Then he sat in the front seat fumbling around with his keys for […]
Four married guys go fishing. After an hour, the following conversation took place: First guy: “You have no idea what I had to do to be able to come out fishing this weekend. I had to promise my wife that I will paint every room in the house next weekend.” Second guy: “That’s nothing; I […]
A man goes to his doctor and says, “I don’t think my wife’s hearing is as good as it used to be, what should I do?” The doctor replies, “Try this test to find out for sure. When your wife is in the kitchen doing dishes, stand fifteen feet behind her and ask her a […]
Sally was never the best Sunday school student. She was always falling asleep in class and getting into trouble. “Sally” the Sunday school teacher asked, one dozing day “Who created the universe?” When she didn’t stir, little Johnny, who sat behind her, poked her in the rear with his pencil “God Almighty!” shouted Sally, and […]
Cadillac Humor We were out shopping yesterday for a new ride. Just for fun, Paul and I took a Cadillac Escalade out for a test drive. I wanted to sense that Escalade “feel” before they become extinct… The salesman sat in the back seat describing the car and all its wonderful options. The seats were […]