The Police Department Structure
Chief of Police
Leaps tall buildings in a single bound …Is more powerful than a locomotive Is faster than a speeding bullet Walks on water Gives policy to God
Assistant Chief
Leaps short buildings in a single bound Is more powerful than a switch engine Is just as fast as a speeding bullet Walks on water if the sea is calm Talks with God
Captain
Leaps short buildings with a running start and favorable winds Is almost as powerful as a switch engine Is faster than a speeding BB Walks on water if an indoor pool Talks with God if special request is approved
Lieutenant
Barely clears a Quonset hut Loses tug-of-war with a locomotive Can fire a speeding bullet Swims well Is occasionally addressed by God
Sergeant
Makes high marks on the wall when trying to leap buildings Is run over by locomotive Can sometimes handle a gun without inflicting self-injury Dog paddles Talks to animals
Detective
Runs into buildings Recognizes locomotive two out of three times Is not issued ammunition Can stay afloat with a life preserver Talks to himself
Training Officer
Falls over doorsteps when trying to enter buildings Says “Look at the cho-cho! Wets himself with a water pistol Plays in mud puddles Mumbles to himself
Patrolman
Lifts buildings and walks under them Kicks locomotives off the tracks Catches speeding bullets in his teeth and eats them Freezes water with a single glance HE IS GOD
— Appropriated from Cop Humor on Facebook.
@QBall45
