Four Guys Fishing

Four married guys go fishing. After an hour, the following conversation took place: First guy: “You have no idea what I had to do to be able to come out fishing this weekend. I had to promise my wife that I will paint every room in the house next weekend.” Second guy: “That’s nothing; I had to promise my wife that I will build her a new deck for the pool.” Third guy: “Man, you both have it easy! I had to promise my wife that I will remodel the kitchen for her.” They continue to fish when they realized that the fourth guy has not said a word. So they asked him. “You haven’t said anything about what you had to do to be able to come fishing this weekend. What’s the deal?” Fourth guy: “I just set my alarm for 5:30 am. When it went off, I shut off my alarm, gave the wife a nudge and said, “Fishing or sex,” and she said, “Wear sun-block.” Borrowed from my Facebook feed....

I Said Chicken

A man goes to his doctor and says, “I don’t think my wife’s hearing is as good as it used to be, what should I do?” The doctor replies, “Try this test to find out for sure. When your wife is in the kitchen doing dishes, stand fifteen feet behind her and ask her a question, if she doesn’t respond keep moving closer asking the question until she hears you.” The man goes home and sees his wife preparing dinner. He stands fifteen feet behind her and says, “What’s for dinner, honey?” He gets no response, so he moves to ten feet behind her and asks again. Still no response, so he moves to five feet. No answer. Finally he stands directly behind her and says, “Honey, what’s for supper?” She replies, “For the fourth time, I SAID CHICKEN, get a hearing aid!” Borrowed this from my Facebook feed. ...

The Bill Of Rights – Liberal Version

Amendment I Free speech shall only be allowed if everyone agrees with it, or if it fits the agenda of the Democratic Party. Religion shall not be tolerated in our government, unless it is Islam. Amendment II You may each have one black powder musket and no more than three lead balls. Amendment III Why is this even here? Any case, you can’t stay in someone’s house if you are trying to overthrow the government. You must remain outdoors and wearing blaze orange so that you can be seen. Amendment IV Your shit and privacy means nothing. We will take what we want, when we want it. Again, as long as it fits the purpose and agenda of the Democratic Party. Amendment V Your life, liberty and property belong to the government. You will speak when spoken to, and must answer any questions asked. Amendment VI If we jail you because we don’t like you, tough. A speedy trial will take no more than two years, or however long it takes a judge to finish. The jury will consist of whomever the hell we want and will likely be people that give two shits about being there. There will likely be a couple on the jury with their homeboys in lock up, and they may wear shirts that say “Free dip dizzy whizzle.” Amendment VII You can have a trial, but it will cost you if you are rich. Amendment VIII The government reserves the right to set bail high as hell and fine the shit out of you. Amendment IX This wording makes no sense so we will...

The Road Salt Conundrum

I recognize that the use of chemicals on the highways of America in an effort to keep us safe is a necessity.  Unfortunately, I find that I’m annoyed by how bad it makes my vehicles appear.  When I left the shop on Sunday afternoon my rig was clean having just been washed on Saturday.  Today is Tuesday.  Look at it!  It’s a filthy pig!!  You don’t even dare bump into it for fear of being covered in nasty white road chemical residue.  Oh well, at least the wash boys will earn their paychecks this week. ...

The Hammer

The Hammer is one of the most common hand tools ever invented yet it is also one of the most often overlooked. Simplistic in design. Utilitarian in use. Virtually every home in the world has one or more of varying designs. I have many different hammers at the house, most are of the claw hammer design. Once upon a time long ago when I first started driving big rigs, after learning the hard way, I bought the hammer pictured above with only one purpose in mind. You see in the winter months it is an extremely common occurrence to find frozen brake drums on dropped trailers. The only effective solution is to whack the drum with a hammer. The bigger the hammer the better. Last week I noticed that the head on my hammer was starting to rust. Ignoring the issue I stuffed it back in to the saddle box on my truck and went about the business of getting some work done aka going to get loaded. Today I was hooking up to a freshly washed drop trailer and as is my usual operation I reached into the box and pulled out my hammer only to be reminded that it had started to rust. Well, I couldn’t put it off any longer. It was time for some maintenance on The Hammer. After about five minutes of buffing with a wire wheel the rust was no more. The moral of the story is that even the most mundane items in our lives sometimes require five minutes of our undivided attention....

The Morning After

Sunrise the morning after the Groundhog Day 2016 snow storm was a beautiful one.  Honestly, the entire day was very nice with clear skies (for the most part) and mild to moderate winds.  This picture was taken “up north” near Wadena, MN. ...

On The Road – Groundhog Day 2016

Waukesha, WI Portage, WI Overcast sky and 70mph roads near Portage, WI. I know I’m in for nasty weather before long. Sparta, WI I’ve found some fog. Still 70mph roads. I found the first few snow flakes about 15 miles east of La Crosse, WI. To say that my day turned to shit would be an understatement. Snow accumulations were crazy once I crossed into Minnesota and climbed out of the Mississippi River Valley. For the most part the only vehicles in the ditch were the over confident semi trucks in a hurry to get somewhere that were having issues seeing the edges of the road surface. According to radar images I’ve made it North of the storm. Unfortunately, there’s still a few flakes in the air. Overall driving conditions are what most would call not good. I’m calling it greatly improved compared to what I’ve been driving on all...

Friday’s View From The Road

Just south of Worthington, MN I watched a beautiful sunrise. I love odd looking clouds. Out west on Hwy14 near Florence, MN. Redwood Falls, MN Finally! I’m on my way home. It’s been another long...

Views From The Road Today

Minnesota and Wisconsin got some fresh snow yesterday if you weren’t aware. The scenery in Wisconsin this morning was absolutely beautiful. Unfortunately there was some liquid precipitation hanging in the air freezing on the window. At times it was acting like freezing fog though it wasn’t foggy.Someone’s having a bad day at the Rochester rest area. I had my bad day yesterday with a short in the wiring for my head lights.Have a great evening. It’s time for a nap....